When I first moved to utah, I hung out with crowds of guys that were ages 21-30 and I really didn't mind it or think it was weird, although my mom was very nervous when my first date in provo was with a 25 yr old.... Anyway, I was the young girl at most gatherings and parties though, and I remember loving that though. seeing all the older girls scowl at me because I was the younger, more active, jadeless(?) version of them. chipper and talkative. Now only 3 years later, and still young, I think, I've come to finally realize why the older girls hated me. Don't get me wrong girls that graduated in 09 or 10 soon to be 11', are cool girls, but they are so young and naive. I can relate to them only because I was one of them once but Its kind of hard to hang out with guys that hang out with girls so young though. so to some extent, I have no idea why guys hung out with me when I was 18( still considering that i was mature for my age). Whats funnier is that I hung out with a group of guys when I was 18 and now that im 21, my just barley 18 year old cousin is hanging out with that same crowd. I think that says something, don't you think???
*disclaimer: this is in no way a "im better than all the young girls because ive matured" blog post............This is a "why cant 30 year olds get married instead of hang out with girls that are 10 years younger" blog post
whats the cause of this? It is really because they cant find the right girl? do they really not want to settle down? Is their life that great with out a girl? or has the pressure of society and/or family made them give up? or is it because there are just too many girls, they simply can not pick...? As lame as that sounds, I think that last option is possible...but what I have learned is that its not about finding the right one, its about making it work with the right one/anyone really(that's compatible to their standards) Think about that.
And also, my dad and many other people always say, "don't worry about finding the right one, worry about being the right one. If you do your part, the lord will do the rest."
I fully agree on that.
1 comments:
As one who is approaching the 30 mark (1.5 years away, gahhh) I think it is a mixture of many different things. Let me also say, though, that I think there isn't a single thing wrong with being late-twenties and not married. The "taboo" that exists is completely and 100% a utah/mormon social construct. Mormons have the idea that marriage needs to happen as quickly as possible ingrained in their heads from the time they are old enough to drink caffeine free diet coke (3.) The idea that there is something wrong with someone who is late twenties or, gasp, 30 and unmarried is ridiculous. Maybe rather than giving up, or there being too many options, or not wanting to settle down, or feeling like life is so great without a girl, they are just trying to make a careful decision. If there is anything in this world one should be picky about, it is marriage.I get it that "it can work" with just about anyone. But do you really want to have to "make it work?" I think i'd rather wait and find that person that makes the ride a lot more enjoyable, than to just make it work for the sake of not being single anymore. Not that, with that ideal person there isn't a TON of work involved. It just makes the work easier. My baby sisters and brothers were all married at 19, 20, and 22. NO THANKS. Ultimately, the only difference between my life and theirs, is they will spend about 10 years longer married than I will. And may ultimately get their kids out of the house more quickly. But there is a big difference between their lives and mine--I have 8-10 years of single life adventures and experiences that they will NEVER be able to have or duplicate. They skipped out and missed that whole beautiful section of life, to just into a different (albeit beautiful) section of life, into which I will eventually jump myself.30 years olds hanging out and kissing on 18 year old babes? Pathetic, sure. But as for me, I just haven't found what I am looking for yet. Or the one or 2 I have found that I thought I did want, didn't want me. And that is totally OKAY.
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